I woke up to some chaos today! Joss Whedon has managed to take a bunch of Whedonverse alum and film a whole entire movie under the world’s nose, all while The Avengers and Buffy Season 9 are underway! The film? Shakespeare’s (or Shakespeare inspired?) Much Ado About Nothing…
America (United States of): A country located in the N. Western Hemisphere that is #1.
Bible: A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped.
Birth Certificate: An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008.
Capitalism: A system of economic organization that has never been attempted.
Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists.
Compromise: (uncommon) A form of political suicide.
Coast (East): A very bad coast of the continental United States.
Coast (West): Another really inexcusable coast.
Communism: The belief that the government should ever do anything.
Condescending: Accurately informed.
Constitution (U.S.): The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately.
Corporations: Large people who are overtaxed.
Endangered Species: Animals that have it coming.
Evolution: A theory of human origins that is out there.
Extremist (Liberal): Espousing or adhering to political beliefs that are held by only a majority of Americans.
Forest (National): Trees that have it coming.
Gut: Region of the body from which decisions should be made.
Homosexuality: A membership-only lifestyle organization that perpetuates itself through youth recruitment.
Hitler: A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama in spite of the many uncanny similarities.
Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons.
Liberal: A person who should be rounded up and shot but not really.
Marxism: A political and economic philosophy developed by Karl Marx and promulgated by Paul Krugman.
Medicare: A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct.
Mexicans: Brown people who have it coming.
Mountaintops: Ancient rock formations that have it coming.
Muslims: Brown people who have it coming.
News: Fox News
Organic: Eaten by lesbians.
Party (Tea): A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of “No Taxation With Representation.”
Poverty: The condition of having inadequate financial or material resources due to not trying hard enough.
Propaganda: The politically motivated dissemination of biased information, opinion, or data through its publication in the New York Times.
Racism: A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse.
Regulation: Rules issued by a government agency for no reason.
Scientist: A person who employs a rigorous system of observation, experiment, measurement, and verification to perpetuate his Godless left-wing agenda.
Taxes: Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue the lower they are.
Terrorist: A person to whom a person who threatens to destroy the U.S. economy unless his demands are met should not be compared.
Wealthy (the): People who earned every penny.
Warming (Global): An anomalous, anthropogenic increase in the earth’s atmospheric and oceanic temperatures that isn’t happening.
Let me explain; my partner and I were attending an event for the Huffington Post, for which I often write: Game Changers 2011, in a venue space on Hudson Street. As we entered the space, we saw that about 200 Occupy Wall Street protesters were peacefully assembled and were chanting. They wanted to address Governor Andrew Cuomo, who was going to be arriving at the event. They were using a technique that has become known as “the human mic” – by which the crowd laboriously repeats every word the speaker says – since they had been told that using real megaphones was illegal.
In my book Give Me Liberty, a blueprint for how to open up a closing civil society, I have a chapter on permits – which is a crucial subject to understand for anyone involved in protest in the US. In 70s America, protest used to be very effective, but in subsequent decades municipalities have sneakily created a web of “overpermiticisation” – requirements that were designed to stifle freedom of assembly and the right to petition government for redress of grievances, both of which are part of our first amendment. One of these made-up permit requirements, which are not transparent or accountable, is the megaphone restriction.
So I informed the group on Hudson Street that they had a first amendment right to use a megaphone and that the National Lawyers’ Guild should appeal the issue if they got arrested. And I repeated the words of the first amendment, which the crowd repeated.
[…] On our exit, I saw that the protesters had been cordoned off by a now-massive phalanx of NYPD cops and pinned against the far side of the street – far away from the event they sought to address.
I went up and asked them why. They replied that they had been informed that the Huffington Post event had a permit that forbade them to use the sidewalk. I knew from my investigative reporting on NYC permits that this was impossible: a private entity cannot lease the public sidewalks; even film crews must allow pedestrian traffic. I asked the police for clarification – no response.
I went over to the sidewalk at issue and identified myself as a NYC citizen and a reporter, and asked to see the permit in question or to locate the source on the police or event side that claimed it forbade citizen access to a public sidewalk.”
“Why has Tumblr become the go-to platform of this moment? As we saw in Iran, Twitter can be a powerful broadcast tool for delivering minute-by-minute accounts of breaking news and amplifying concrete messages (“Down with Ahmedinejad”). And in Egypt, Facebook was pivotal for recruiting protesters…